If Not Now, When?
This month, being my first after leaving a long career, and feeling almost like this is a new beginning for the ‘next phase of my life’, I signed up for a month long “Mindfulness Summit”, online. It seemed serendipitous that I begin my new life with an effort to be more in the moment, more aware of my thoughts and emotions as they come and go, and learn about how to get the most out of every moment from here on.
Life had been feeling, in recent years, like it raced by at break neck speed. I also spent much of my time looking ahead to the next event: school activity, work trip, vacation, dance competition, kayak regatta, bill payment, meal preparation… You get the point. It felt like life was filled with a myriad of things to come, rather that what was happening right now. Then I realized my memory of some events was not very clear.
Rather that assuming I was getting early onset dementia, I had the insight (or maybe sincere hope) that maybe I just wasn’t fully present during that hour or day, so my mind couldn’t possibly hold onto clear images when the memories were clouded with distraction. It is quite ironic that all the effort I put into these events in my life was sometimes lost due to my lack of being present, already onto planning the next event.
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So this first month has become an exercise in slowing down, practicing mindfulness in even small moments, and enjoying those seemingly little things that make up our daily lives. When I look back, small things sometimes become the big, important moments of life. What do we have if not this moment, right now: the touch from my child, a sweet song of the bird outside my window, or the delightful aroma and taste of that freshly brewed latte on a Sunday morning?
On that note, I’m off to make my second cup.
Jules Horwood |
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